That is Crazy, Jade. You Are Crazy!

If you caught my literary reference, kudos.
Man... Never handle comics with wet hands. Does anyone have a program that could take that smudge out?

I Once Ran in the Indie 500!!!

Seriously. I love both of those movies. What is up with all the negativity towards Revenge of the Fallen? If you ask me, these people hated it before they entered the theatre, and nitpicked every little thing in order to justify their hatred. I think it was great. I especially liked Jetfire's scene. Yes, there were a couple crude jokes, but it was still much cleaner than a lot of Pg-13 movies (I'm looking at you, Austin Powers). Ordinarily, I would go into a long essay, explaining point by point why this movie is worth seeing, but since people have already gone resorted to ridicilous hyperbole against this film, I have no choice but to use ridiculous hyperbole in its defense.

Revenge of the Fallen is not only the best movie ever made, but possibly the best movie possible. All Hollywood studios should close their gates, as there is clearly no point in producing any more films.

I think we could bring peace to the Middle East with this movie. Just build a giant projector in Israel, and project the film onto the moon. After seeing this cinematic masterpiece, there will be peace between Israel and Palestine, and all the world's children will gather together and sing.

In small quantities, a daily dose of Revenge of the Fallen can promote long life, and halt male pattern baldness in ninety-three percent of test cases.

One time, I was swimming in the ocean, and I was attacked by a pack of viscious tiger sharks. Revenge of the Fallen rode in on surfboard, and rescued me using naught but its own psyionic mind bullets.

Welcome to Planet Dirt!!!

I went and saw Transformers 2 this weekend. It was pretty awesome. It gets the Charles Work seal of approval. Unfortunately, this is often a kiss of death, but I think this movie's doing well enough to take it.

You know when someone's having a garage sale, and you come up to the sign and scribble a 'b' into the sign so that it says "Garbage Sale?" Stop doing that!

Sometimjes, an institution will have a number to call if you need them to make accomodations based on disabilities. If you're going to a funny play or movie, you should call and say that you were born without a sense of humor, and you need someone to explain all the jokes to you. If they ask if this is a joke, tell them maybe it is; you can't tell because you were born without a sense of humor.

My Shoes are Full of Jelly Beans!

Dang it, McDonalds! This is a BARBIE! I specifically said I wanted the Hot Wheels Happy Meal!!!

What's the deal with ninjas and giant frogs?

Today is Father's day, so we had steaks. Too bad our father lives out of town. He probably would have enjoyed them. Come to think of it, my siblings weren't here either. I guess I should have said I had a steak.

Why remove the water from the bottom of the ocean? If you try to remove the water from the bottom of the ocean, the water at the top of the ocean will just flow down to fill in the gap. Man, it's good to get that off my chest.

There Was Nothing the Psychiatrists Could Do!

Captain Archer is actually one of my favorite Star Trek captains. Bakula rules.
I'm trying to find a new computer. Does anyone have any reccomendations?

Nail It Down!!!

Based on a true story! ...sort of.
If you know anyone who watched that show M.A.S.H., ask if they can spot the two references in this comic.
Okay, so I go through the drive through at Long John Silver's, and I say to the guy, "I'd like a number one combo with a Dr. Pepper." The guy just says, "Yah cannae have it!" So, I'm like, "Why the heck not?!" and the guy just says, "It doesn'ah like you!" (May not have happened.)
Who cares about any off this, though? GOLDEN SUN IS COMING TO THE DS!!!

(Screen Images Simulated.)

Marmaduke is a comic about a great Dane. Other great Danes include Hamlet, Beowulf and whoever invented Legos.
Does anyone still read this comic? Maybe I need to get a real web page so that the search engines can find it.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

I had to help trimy my cat Mitten's fur this weekend. He didn't like it very much.

I think that dog Marmaduke is a great dane. Other great Dane's include Beowulf and whoever invented Legos.

Charlie's Home for Imaginary Numbers.

I played that game "Klonoa" over the past week. It's pretty awesome, but not nearly long enough. Still, I reccommend it.
I really wish I could do something about these blasted ants. They're everywhere!

Give the Spider a Hug!!!

That monster wasn't supposed to look like Shockwave in Transformers Animated, but he kind of does.
...
If I close my eyes and cover my ears, I can still hear that sleeping pig... mocking me.

Stop Eating My Gummy Bears!!!

The Ninja owed Sunglasses one for rescuing him from the quicksand.

Don't tell me how much tortilla soup I can eat! I know what my stomach can handle!

That game "The Avalon Code" is pretty awesome.

Help Me Get These Lobster Claws Off My Arms.

The other day, I was playing video games, and a six hundred foot tall scorpion burst into our trailer. My brother rushed in and slew it using not but his wits and psionic mind bullets. We threw him a ticker-tape parade.

Seriously, though. How do I beat that sleeping pig in The World Ends with You? I can't rest until I've finished it.

Cracks in Walls May be a Sign of Foundation Problems.

...Seriously, though. Who can help me finish that game? I've almost got it, except for that blasted sleeping pig that runs away when I hit it. Don't tell me to go to Gamefaqs. They aren't any help.

If you meditate, and then you still want to destroy someone, you're not doing it properly.

I would like to close with a question. I'll post the answer next week.
Q: If my grandmother had wheels instead of arms and legs, she would be a car, and not my grandmother.

Did You See That!? Bigfoot just Stole my Lunchbox!

Sorry. This one's not that great. I had to do my taxes. Also, my Masterpiece Grimlock just arrived. Plus, I did that really good one last week, and I didn't feel like spending all weekend on another one.

The Exciting Contusion!

Now, part two of the epic 100th comic, in full color.
If you've not been here in a couple weeks, scroll down and read part one first, or else this won't make any sense.

My sister had Powerwheels mixed up with Hotwheels, and thought I was talking about little die cast cars for cats. Hotwheels for cats? That's just absurd. No one would buy them.
I saw a little girl crash her dad's electric shopping cart into her mom at Wal-Mart the other day.
When I see the word "Octomom" on the cover of a supermarket tabloid, I mistake it for "Octoman," and am immediately disappointed that they're not talking about an obscure F-Zero character.

I Can't Get These Socks of My Hands!

This is really only half a comic. I decided to split it up over two weeks.

Everyone Knows It's Windy!

It wouldn't be funny if you saw it coming, now, would it?

I thought I had a great idea with that "She's a slow walker" song, but it turns out I subconsciously stole it from the song "She's a heartbreaker." Dang it!!!

It's storming tonight, so if you don't hear from me next week, it probably means my house blew away. Just a heads up.

I jammed a key into my chest because a cartoon told me to.

We Buy House?

This isn't my hundredth comic. That's coming in a couple weeks. This is my hundredth post, but a couple of those didn't have comics in them.

The EPA really needs to investigate Sherwin Williams. Judging from their sign, their planning to take an enormous can of red paint and dump it directly into the ocean.

I Ate My Pants... )-:

I'm coming up on my hundredth comic. What should I do? I should at least do a two page comic in color.
I wish Nintendo Power still had comics.

Edit (3/11/09):
Here are some things I forgot to mention.
AAAAAGH!!! BANJO! KAZOOIE! What have they done to you!!? You're all square and boxy! You look like you just came out of a Dire Straights video!

I wrote a folksy song about people walking in front of me while I'm driving.
She's a slow walker,
She's a cell-phone talker,
She's a slow walker,
She's a road blocker,
...
That's all I have so far.

Keep Your Squirrels OUT of My Garbage!!!

"The Arches" was from an annoying 80's McDonalds ad.

I'm giving up lint for Lent! EVERYBODY CLEAN OUT YOUR POCKETS!!!
Why can't the Wii have Street Fighter?