Myyyyy braaaaiinn huuuuuuurtssss...

My eyelids hurt.

I was eating a sandwich, and I thought to myself, "What if if Microsoft released a really crummy version of Windows that nobody liked, and then released a new version a year later, as if in apology?" I'm Charles Work, and Windows 7 was my idea.

Check..
it...
out...




Man, that took a long time to draw. I hope I'm getting the hang of Illustrator. I'm probably going to stick to pen and paper comics for the most part, though.

Before...






After...




It's taking some work, but I've almost figured out how to use Illustrator.
The penguin is playing Fire Emblem, if you hadn't guessed.
My cat is sleeping on the floor a foot away from me while I type. That's about as cuddly as he gets.
I couldn't put Top Hat in this one, because he had to go try to close that oil leak. It didn't work.

A tornado narrowly missed my house, but I still managed to get my comic posted. That's how devoted I am.

I didn't shade this comic, because I'm trying to work on it using the free trial version of Adobe Illustrator I just downloaded.

I bet you're wondering why this comic looks so terrible. It's a long story, but in short, it turns out I don't know how to use a fountain pen.

I think it's funny to use out of context sentences at a crowded restaurant to make it appear you're discussing something interesting. I.E., "Anyway, they found his teeth in it."

Some cartoons would have you believe that swallowing a tiny computer wil let you sing in auto-tune. In fact, it will only get you banned from Radio Shack.
I swallowed a stick of gum. No special powers...

Can you tell me two things she did dumb when running?

I got that WarioWare D.I.Y. game. I made a microgame where you beat up a car like in StreetFighter. The day after that, my brother crashed his car. I have to be more careful about these things.

You Call This Bacon!!??

I finally finished Cave Story. That game is awesome. Who thinks I should try to make something like that? I have a great idea for a game based on my comic. Does anyone have any suggestions? I think I would try to use Flash, since then it could be played without downloading.

Note: May not have happened.
Has anyone seen my eraser? I left it around here somewhere...

I'm Not Wearing Lipstick!!!!

I'm trying to get some Flash software so that I can make cartoons and games. The software I need, though, costs a thousand dollars. That's a lot of money for a hobby. I'm guessing I won't use a third of the features I pay for. I wish they had some cheaper introductory version. Anyway, Cave Story is awesome.

NO TITLE FOR YOU!

Not much going on this week. Sorry if this comic isn't funny. I had to spend my afternoon doing taxes and stuff like that.

I played that game Sands of Destruction recently. It wasn't that great. It would have been better if it was a lot more challenging. Also, some of the characters tended to say the same things over and over in battle. It started to go a little something like this:
"Here comes the paaaaain!"
"It's probably my fault."
"It's probably my fault."
"Here comes the paaaaain!"
"Here comes the paaaaain!"
"It's probably my fault."
"I'm not afraid of this power anymore!"
"It's probably my fault."
"Here comes the paaaaain!"
Still, one of the characters, Taupy the bounty hunter teddy bear, was almost awesome enough to justify the rest of the game on his own.

Anyway, I have Pokemon Soul Silver now, and it's going pretty well so far. I wanted to spend my weekend playing it, but instead I squandered it doing my taxes... Sigh.

Give some Malimars to that monkey.

I don't have anything particularly interesting to say right now. I'm disappointed but not surprised at the Oscars.

Stop Feeding That Ocelot!!!

Well, that's it except for the epilogue. I had to finish this up before April.

Seriously, though, Red Robin is overpriced.

Remember to drink plenty of Ovaltine!!!

Well, sometimes, you write a comic, and it makes sense, and sometimes, not so much... and sometimes, you burn the heck out of your mouth on a piece of pizza, and everything tastes like rubber for a week.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE!!!!

Accomplishments.

My parents gave my sister one of those Disney Princess greeting cards. Its really convenient that Ariel gets human legs for these group pictures they put on the cards. It would be really awkward if they had to push her around in a big fish tank, or if they were always next to a lake. She'd really be a third wheel in their princess get-togethers if she was part fish all the time.
- Where should we go on our next princess meeting?
- Can we PLEASE have a pool party this time.
- Ariel, you ALWAYS want a pool party.

Also, like Seaspray in Transformers, she only gets to go on underwater missions.

Crud. Now Google is giving me Disney Princess related ads. This is worse than when I kept mentioning Dragon Ball Z for no reason.

I nearly broke my elbow this week.

I honestly don't think they can take him.

If they wanted to make a Transformers movie that actually pleased critics, they'd have to make it about a disabled boy with a British accent who has to come to terms with his mother's terminal illness while trying to forgive his estranged father (whose car, it is mentioned in passing, is a robot).

I CAN Eat Fifteen Pizzas!

Disclaimer: I make no pretension of knowing anything about Dragon Ball Z. I just found it amusing that the characters' costumes were the same color as prison uniforms. Please don't send me hundreds of messages about how I got the costume wrong. I probably should have looked up a picture or something. I probably shouldn't have referenced a show I know nothing about, but... oh, well. These comics can't all be winners.

Conan O'Brian? What are you talking about? I'm just talking about bad coffee that steals the Tonight Show from hot chocolate.
I had a really great thing to say here, but now I'm out of time.

Corn Flakes?

I thought a recap might be useful.

Man, I don't know how anyone couldn't like "Final Fantasy: The Crystal Bearers." Best adventure-type game since Okami, if you ask me.
I got a digital video camera for Christmas, but I can't think of anything good to record.

I was looking at the DVD cover of that movie Labyrinth. It says something like "Where everything seems possible, and nothing is what it seems."
...Logically, doesn't that mean nothing is possible?

YOU EAT TOO MUCH!!!

That game "Final Fantasy: The Crystal Bearers is pretty awesome. It's kind of crazy how much stuff there is to do. I wish they had used the Wii Motion Plus, though, to make the controls a bit more responsive... not that it's a real problem.
The Legend of Zelda, Spirit Tracks is also great, but I've not played as much of it. I just got a DSi, and I'm being very careful with it, so I don't get it dinged up.

There are certain words that a super villain must use frequently. I'm compiling a list of them. Here are just a few:

Insignificant.
Vermin.
Destruction.
Inevitable.
Foiled.
Inferior.
Superior.

I'm Teaching You How to Make Soup!

Sometimes you have to stretch out your neck for a friend. Other times, you have to stretch out your neck for a duck dressed as a drill sergeant. He's just not been the same since 'Nam.

Who cares, though? Blaster Master is on the Virtual Console now. FINALLY! Now, if we could just get Earthbound.

By that time, all the porcupines had already boarded the spaceship.

I think the journey of the rabbit and his partner would make a good cartoon, if I ever get some Flash software.
I might have turned the image quality on my scanner a bit too high. Sorry if this takes a while to load.

Drive One Home Today!!!

You have to have been reading these for this one to make any sense.

Is the picture quality in these still good? I don't know about this new scanner.

NO MORE BEARS!!!

Video games are fun, but they're not always realistic. I must have eaten thousands of jelly beans in my life, and not once have I turned into a trampoline.
Sorry about the quality of this one. I drew it while I was away for Thanksgiving

I went in to Toys 'R Us the other day to download that new Pokemon and buy a DS game case. So, I downloaded the Arceus, and proceeded to checkout. As I was leaving, I said to the cashier, "Thanks for the Pokemon download." She replied, "We don't have it." I said, "Yes... Yes you do." She said, "No, we never got it." I said, "Yes you did. I downloaded it." She said, "No, we don't have the disk." I said, "I downloaded. It's in my DS. I have it right here in my pocket. You have it." At this point, she sang, "Here is my, here is my- No, you can't download my Pokemon... My Po-Po-Pokemon, my Po-Pokemon." I might have made the last part up.

If anyone knows how to program in Perl and Nyx, my next door neighbor is looking to hire someone. Ask your computer friends.

I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TASTES LIKE!!!

The saga continues.
Wikipedia owes me one, for all the obscure cartoons and things I reference that people have to look up.

By the way, I added some fun lists and stuff at the bottom of the page. Enjoy.

Nobody EVER Pays Me in Gum!

This is the first part of an ongoing saga!

I raked all the leaves into a big pile this weekend. I wanted to put them in garbage bags, but no one would help me, so instead, I put a wig and some goofy lady's sunglasses on it, and now we have to ask it for advice.

In that one frame, that's a speech bubble from Sunglasses under the table. It's not a Chao that's melting, or an amoeba.

Don't Move My Action Figures While I'm Away!

I don't have any clever insight today.

My Name is Jerry. Will You Be My Friend?

Kudos if you know what game I'm parodying.
Those creatures at the end came to me in a dream, and said to me, "Charlie, you must put us in your comic... or we will burn down the Space Mountain ride." No, they didn't actually say that. One of them did pose as an undiscovered Pokemon at a toy store, though. You could even store coins in its trumpet shaped mouth! Useful! Convenient!

I missed How I Met Your Mother because of a fire. I hope they put them out.

This is as close as I get to political satire.
You can't wear an oven mitt on your head and call yourself a fireman! I know it seems like a good idea, but these people train hard, and you can't just run in there with an oven mitt and a Supersoaker and try to play hero! I feel dizzy... Has anyone seen my car keys?

'Till All Are One, or at least Until 3:00 PM.

I nearly stabbed myself in the face while unloading dishes. I nearly tripped on my own pant leg while unloading some sharp knives. Such an injury surely would have ruined my comics, or at least my long weekend.

Dust makes me sad.

Some people are in some kind of panic because they don't think Obama was born in the U.S., but Kennedy openly admitted to being a German citizen, and nobody said anything. I don't get it.

Dangerous Pancakes.

That's a whale at the end, and not a chameleon.

That game "Muramasa: The Demon Blade" is pretty good. It's not as monotonous as Nintendo Power made it sound. Still, it's best played in short bursts, and not for hours at a time.

Car Was.

No punchline this week. Just an angry turtle. I thought about using a robot instead, but I've been doing that a lot lately.
The title is supposed to read "You are hamburger." The pen was running out of ink.

Quentin Terentino Rejects?

Sorry about the low quality of the artwork one. I was in a hurry. It was a busy weekend. Lets all have a cheer for that robot though!

I finally got my new computer. It's pretty sweet. It has a twenty four inch widescreen monitor, which I use to watch Captain N and The New Super Mario World on DVD.

I don't like bumper stickers that I can't read from a distance.

Anyway, does anyone know a place where you can get a laptop fixed? I really need those Wordperfect documents out of mine.

I Worked Hard for that Laffy Taffy!

My neighbors annoy me because they already have a whole mess of Halloween junk on their porch. It's not Halloween yet! It's ninety degrees out, for crying out loud! Besides, Halloween is a weird holiday. It's a holiday dedicated to scaring children, based on a tradition of bribing vandals with candy.

Stop this madness at once!

I hope I did good enough job drawing that Varia suit that no one will notice Sunglasses' misshapen face in the same panel.

I ordered a new computer. I hope it's a good computer, and not the kind with the giant green sneering face that talks to you like that Captain Planet villain used.

Charles Doesn't Want to Eat That!!!

My computer is over. I had to borrow my sister's Mac to get this online. Does anyone have any good recommendations, computer-wise?

Pancakes!!!

Samurai Jack cannot rest until Aku is defeated. I feel the same way about local car salesman Chad Fowler. Fowler!!! Why must you continue to spread your evil across this land?!

I've been wondering about hair metal band names. Here's the conundrum: "Poison" kills "Ratt." "White Snake" eats "Ratt." "Poison" kills "White Snake." What stops "Poison?" My guess would be "The Cure," but I'm probably wrong on this one.

Apparently, the fire department doesn't rescue cats from trees anymore. This troubles me.

No- I mean yes- I like strawberries.

I finally beat up that pig I was telling you all about. Congratulations, me!

The other day, I got a chance to see FBI consultant and former con-artist Frank Abagnale give a speech. I thought it would be really funny if the following conversation took place.

Audience Member 1: What was it like having Christopher Walken as a father?
Abagnale: No, no. You seem to be confused with a movie that was based on my life. It was a great film, but film makers always portray things from their own point of view.
Audience Member 2: Did you really lock yourself in a theatre for years at a time while saying "Show me the blueprints, show me the blueprints" over and over?
Abagnale: (Pauses awkwardly.) Okay... I think you're confusing me with Howard Hughes, on whom a completely different movie was based.
Audience Member 3: What was it like to die on the Titanic?
Abagnale: (Growing annoyed) No, that was another character from a different movie. Stop that. Next question.
Audience Member 4: You were really terrible in that modern day interpretation of Romeo and Juliet.
Abagnale: (Angrilly) That's not even a question! Stop that!
Audience Member 5: How did it feel to be Geoffrey Chaucer, the imaginary room mate in "A Beautiful Mind?"
Abagnale: (Boiling with rage) That's not even a Dicaprio character, and that wasn't Geoffrey Chaucer! You have two movies mixed up, and neither of them involve me!!!

...and so on. I considered doing a comic like this, but it wouldn't have been my style.

I Can't Control My Psionic Eye Blasts!!!

Howard Hughes was a famous millionaire movie maker and aviator. This is funnier if you've seen "The Aviator." Why did people stop wearing hats?

I ate a delicious sandwhich the other day. It was a ham and cheese sandwhich that ws breaded and deep fried. It's called a Monte Cristo. It's delicious, but not terribly healthy, and has the odd side affect of making you think that you are a wealthy Frenchman, falsely accused of treason and looking for revenge upon the man who stole everything from you.

The Legendary Starfy is a good game, but it's not very challenging.

Is anyone else's computer monitor bigger than mine? I'm wondering if I should scan these comics in a higher resolution.

I Smell a Winner!

Barbie is a trademark of Mattel. McDonalds is a trademark of McDonalds. Olive Oil is a trademark of the Popeye people.
I really wanted to put more Barbie stuff in Lily's room, but I couldn't think of much else. Maybe one of those Power Wheels Barbie Jeeps, or a Barbie blanket. Unfortunately, I don't know much about Barbie. That one on the right side of the top shelf is supposed to be astronaut Barbie, not freakishly deformed cyclops Barbie, which is how it looks.
My grandmother is convinced they'll be coming after me with butterfly nets when they start reading these comics.

Product Shown Rated E through T.

No, they aren't holding giant cinammon rolls. They're just running at high speed to get away from those snails.
I feel sorry for Sideways in the Transformers movie, getting killed off in the first ten minutes. For a Decepticon, he didn't seem like that bad a guy, judging from his character bio. Still, Sideswipe cutting him in half was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Update: 7/23/09:
I don't know if you've heard this or not, but it seems Comedy Central is trying to bring back Futurama... WITHOUT the original voice cast. If you've ever watched the show, then I don't need to explain why this cannot be allowed to happen. There are already two Facebook groups set up to prevent this travesty. I'll put some links to these groups to the right. I reccomend you join them both if you have a Facebook account. They've dug up some e-mail addresses to which we can send our complaints, and plead with those in charge to change their minds about this before it's too late. I'll go ahead and reprint them here, in case any of my readers would like to help stop this injustice.

futurama@scottmullercasting.com

melissa.sugiura@mtvstaff.com

steve.albani@comedycentral.com

chris.alexander@fox.com

tracey.raab@fox.com

That is Crazy, Jade. You Are Crazy!

If you caught my literary reference, kudos.
Man... Never handle comics with wet hands. Does anyone have a program that could take that smudge out?