Why does Spider Man work at a newspaper? Spiders hate newspaper!

Build a Cat? Is that the best I can come up with?

I'd really like to put these comics in a book or something, but I think I need to work on the artwork first. Anyway, I think I would need at least two hundred comics.

These Cats are Ruining the Experiment!

Apparently, that broccoli farm is located in some kind of weird Bizzarro world where the grass on the side of the road is darker than the asphalt.
Today I cleaned out my car, and the neighbors cats kept trying to climb in. I tried to explain to them that I know a cat who got into the neighbors car and got himself locked in for a week and suffered severe psychological trauma as a result, but cats don't listen.
The mother cat was like, "I want to get ice cream!" and I was like "NoOoOoOoOoO!"
Then, the little cat was like, "I call shotgun!" and I was like "NoOoOoOoOoOoOo!"

I'm Wearing a Tiny Octopus On My HEAD!

It's Halloween again, so I decided to do a Halloween comic...
What?
It's NOT Halloween?!
Then why are there so many scary movies out this month?!

This is the problem with writing a really good comic strip. You scribble out another one the next week, and everyone wonders what the heck is wrong.

Sometimes, a gecko hangs out on our window. I've not seen him in a while. I miss our gecko.


...Did I already make a Lick Broccoli reference? I may have forgotten.

Use a Gummi Worm to Catch One of Those Swedish Fish.

Anyway, my trailer is haunted because one of the workers who built it must have died of an industrial accident, and now his eerie heart beat resonates in the heating system. Or maaayyybeee it's just the metal in the vents contracting in the heat. Either way, I bought a pack of earplugs.

I Like Squirrels.

Sorry about that mark at the side. This one was too big for the scanner, so I had to cut and paste.

I had someone come to figure out why the vents were making noises. It turns out the place is haunted.

Smell How Breath my Fresh Is!

There's a horrible dripping sound somewhere in my house. Recently, I've only been able to get enough sleep to have bizaare dreams that I'm on some kind of epic quest with a group of tiny cereal mascots to protect the little girl from Alien II.
Anyway, does anyone know where I can buy a used Battlebot for a reasonable price?

Sometimes, I eat a bowl of airplanes.

Walgreens is a great place to get stuff when you're a few items short for your garage sale... except for Beanie Babies, which are still awesome.
Anyway, nobody knows who Flat Stanley is.

There are Zombies in my Soup!

I'd like to dedicate this one to the late Maddie Blaustein, voice of Meowth on Pokemon. One of the best actors they had on the show, she almost made Team Rocket tolerable. She will be missed.
If you can't tell, that's a widescreen TV in the first panel. That's a commercial for a chainsaw running.
Since it took me so long to get this up, I'll probably wait until about Wednesday to put up the next one.

Lawn Gnomes Ate My Candy Bar!

A few days after I titled a comic "Brain Turnicate," my Dad had to go in for brain surgery. He's out of the hospital already, but I really need to be more careful with these titles.

Fish Love?

So... very... cold...

Can't... feel... arms...

I am NOT a Merry Man!!!

That one's freaky looking... I guess that's what I was going for, though.

You should never end a college entrance essay with the phrase "No, of course not. That would be stupid."

I am NOT an Emo Pinata!!!

Sorry about the wait. There were some minor Reptite related delays.
That's the Electrical Fairy talking in the last frame.

They say that you can increase your gas mileage if you drive dangerously close behind a large truck. Actually, you get even better mileage if you just put your car in neutral and tie it to the truck in front of you. Of course, when the trucker finds out what you've done, he will probably bust your head with a tire iron.

Anyway, to answer previous questions, I don't know where the lady with the mohawk is working. The raccoon is pursuing an exciting career in public vagrancy.

Some Snakes are Poisonous. Some aren't.

I've heard that North Dakota wants to change its name, because the people there think "North" makes it sound cold and desolate, and decreases their tourism business. I recommend they change the name to "Dakota the Triceratops." Then, kids will want their parents to take them to North Dakota, because they think it's an actual dinosaur.

I'm writing another Blast Ryder story, but it will take a couple of weeks.

Heavens to Bootsie!

Please don't tell me how similar this is to "Powered by The Cheat." This has already been brought to my attention.
"Heavens to Bootsie" is just something funny my cousin's three year old sun said. I thought it was pretty clever.
I'm playing Shining Force II on the Virtual Console while I write this. It's pretty good... not as good as Chrono Trigger, but what is?

I'll tell you what else is good: "The World Ends with You." I originally dismissed it because of the characters' irritating hipster attire, but it has an interesting plot and characters. I particularly like the guy who puts math terms in all his sentences. That guy's awesome.

I'm pretty sure I want Chrono Trigger for birthday. Failing that, I suppose I would want "Kota the Triceratops," but only because I'm confused and think it's a living dinosaur and will read me bedtime about robots named Rod and Todd.

Ye shall Eat Not but the Heel of Bread!

I never got around to redoing last week's comic. I'll get it done eventually.

Ramen noodles are the blandest thing ever. They should just write on the package "Marginally Better than Starving."

I cooked some chicken soup yesterday. Nobody try and bring that chicken back from the dead, for it will surely seek revenge.

This is my comic for this week. It turn out quite the way I'd planned. The cos-player looks really strange, and the more I tried to fix her mask, the worse she got. I also wanted Lily to be saying something, but I ran out of space. I think I'll do a revision and post it with my comic next week.

Some interesting facts about Chrono Trigger:
Once, I was having trouble in Intro to Ordered Differential Equations, so I went and talked to the professor, and he told me that I could come in and he'd help me if I didn't understrand the material, and, with his help, I managed to make it through with my GPA intact. It turned out the professor was Chrono Trigger.
One time, I was in the forest, and I accidentally stepped in a bear trap, and Chrono Trigger came and rescued me and nursed me back to health.
Chrono Trigger is the long sought cancer cure.

A weird thing happened when my sister and I were at a restaraunt. We were sitting there eating, and someone else in the restaraunt went up and asked some guy behind us if she could take her picture with him. So, my sister looked, and it turned out it was Toby Keith. Of course, since he's kind of a jerk, he refused to let this young woman take her picture with him. My sister and I had a good time talking about how we should have tricked him into signing a legal document to pay for our meals at the restaraunt for the rest of our lives, and how we would send him E-Mails taunting him about it.
"Hey Keith! We just ate at Tulio's again! LOL!"
I've been considering working this into the comic, but I kind of thought it was a bit mean spirited. What do you guys think?

BABIES!!! THEY'RE BABIES!!!

Sunglasses earned the title "Duck Translator!"

Sorry. I left all my good comic ideas in Narnia, or in an unlicensed Narnia parody.
20 year old California Raisins reference for the win!

Let Me Take a Look at Those Cookies!

These comics would be better if I had an old Brittish man to narrate them as if he was reading to children from a story book.
Okay, this one time, a kitten came up to me, so I patted him on the head, and then this big dog came up, and the kitten ran off somewhere, but the dog wanted me to pat him on the head, so I did, but the dog had bandages on his ears for some reason.