Note: "Charlotte's Web" is trademarked by whoever wrote "Charlotte's Web..." I think. Who was it? Hmm... Probably W.E.B. du Bois.

Blue Light Special in Aisle 3?

I'm still trying to come up with a better eggplant song.

Happy Metroid Day, Everybody! QUICK! HIDE IN THE FREEZER!

He's an Eggplant Wizard,

He's got such a supple grip,

I think I'll be handing my

Eggplant crown to him.

Why do you think he throws them,

I don't know!

They don't taste that gooood...

It was the best Eggplant Wizard song I could come up with on such short notice.

Don't Stop Believing!

Oh... You should probably just pretend you didn't see this.

How did you get here???? Did anyone follow you?

If you ever happen to walk into an alternate dimension, please try and find my missing socks for me. Thanks.

Moment of Lucidity:

People, I hate to mention something so serious here, but if you have any complaints about the new voice actors in the Sonic the Hedgehog games, now is the time to voice them: seriously. I'm not sure what percentage of the two or three people who read this care, but Mario and Sonic at the Olympics will come out by the end of the year, and we can't let them ruin one of the most significant events in video game history with sub-par voice acting. I've read that Ryan Drummond, the authentic Sonic voice actor for Sonic Adventure through Sonic Heroes, will be visiting Sega of America in San Francisco this week, presumably to petition them for his old position back, so we need to make our voices heard now. I'm posting a link to the online customer service form from their website. I don't know how seriously they take the messages they get, but it can't hurt to try:

http://www.sega.com/support/support_csonline.php

Also, as a physical letter is much more impressive, I'm listing their contact address, as listed on their website:

Sega of America

Attn: Department of your choice

650 Townsend Street, Suite 650

San Francisco, CA 94103

I recommend you plead with them that we're all anticipating the greatest video game crossover in history, and wish that they spare no effort in making it the best game possible, including using the proper voice actor (Ryan Drummond). Please, though, be polite and civil. Angry messages won't do us any good. Our only hope in this matter is to convince them that having Drummond and his co-stars back is truly what their fans want.

End Moment of Lucidity:

Stop looking at me like that, Darth Vader. I know you're sticking your tongue out under that helmet.

Get the Tuna Out of Your Ears!

I'm baaaaaaack!

I Eat All Your Music.

I think I'm finally back in the swing of things now. I hope all five of my viewers haven't left for good.

The Title of This Comic Has Been Omitted in Protest of the Sonic Voice Actor Controversy.

Seriously, though, I'm worried about global warming.

The Chair is NOT my Son!

I've had a lousy couple of weeks, and have been away from my internet for a while. So, I'm posting two comics at once. Enjoy!

NOBODY tell me to do a Sopranos finale parody!

Sorry this one was a few days late, but as we say in Germany, "Es ist fur die Affen zu tragen."

The Mustard of Doom

Sorry about my absence. I drank some outdated frozen orange juice, and found myself looking death in the eye.

My Face Hurts.

Note: The penguin did not eat the man's arm.

Fire Photon Torpedoes!!!

Sorry about the delay. I'll post a couple more later to compensate.

I'm Still Confused.

I can't find my fire extinguisher!

It's Parser Santa!

Here we have the Top Hat Man. He's undoubtably out selling Top Hat Linux. He generally marches back and forth, throwing top hats wildly, and if one of the top hats hits you, you turn into a top hat with legs. You have to go to the hospital for them to turn you back. It's very annoying. Also, there's the

giant spider. Hey, three feet wide is still considered a giant spider. Have YOU ever seen a spider that big?

QUIT STALLING! WHERE IS THE MICROFILM?

This could be an April Fool's Day joke. I can't tell anymore.

Distant Puppies... :-(

Here's the preview poster for my latest movie. The corner may have been chewed on a little, but what do you expect when I pay a giant spider to draw these?

'Tis a Tasty Loaf...

I was at the grocery store the other day. Take one guess who I happened to run into. That's right... Voldemort.

Bannana Bread! Lemon Squares!

What would you do if you woke up in the morning and you were a Pokemon? I would probably change my medication.

Hhhhhnnnnnnngggg...

What would you do if you woke up in the morning and your head was gone, and your face was somehow growing out of your stomach? Would you scream and run around until you pass out?