My Forearms are Tired!

Don't you hate it when this happens to you?

The Wasps are Nesting in my Car.

NOBODY expects the Teddy Ruxpin reference!

I Think My Leg is Broken.

My HTML hurts.

Chia's make great pets, but poor masters.

Stuntman Panda! In theatres never!
There are about three jokes in this comic. Can YOU find them?
Sorry I don't have anything more elaborate. I was away for the weekend.

Synopsis of "Kung Fu Panda" from someone who hasn't seen the film.

The following is a plot synopsis of the movie "Kung Fu Panda" that I wrote without ever seeing the film. I'm basing this off of previews, commercials, toy commercials, and cereal and fast food tie ins. I'm guessing this is pretty close to the actual plot.

A hungry panda is wandering around when he comes across a bunch of Kung Fu animals fighting eachother on a suspension bridge for some reason. Through some strange mishap, he convinces them that he is The Chosen One, and they let him into their group. Hoping they'll feed him some Kellog's Frosted Flakes and Burger King Big Kids' Meals, the panda plays along.

First, the other Kung Fu creatures don't respect the panda, but he gains their respect after an arduous three minute training montage, in which the panda repeatedly falls over and rolls over a suspension bridge. Then, however, the others realize he's not The Chosen One when he feels guilty and tells them the truth, or some other guy shows up who looks more like the prophesized Chosen One, or he's unable to use the plastic sword that breaks off into a daggar and makes cool sound effect noises, or he eats everybody else's Kellogs Frosted Flakes. The other Kung Fu animals yell at him for a while, and he walks off dejectedly, while some kind of sad music plays in the background.

Later, some kind of lynx or ocelot (I can't tell from the commercial) escapes from prison or knocks down a building of some sort. If there was another guy they thought was the chosen one, he runs away in fear at this point. Somebody goes to get the panda back, but he's all bitter and resentful, and says "Why should I help you Kung Fu people after what you did to me?" The other guy says, "We'll buy you a Burger King Big Kids' Meal," and the panda says "Okay."

When they get there, the Kung Fu things are already fighting the lynx/ocelot. Despite their best efforts, they keep getting knocked off the bridge. Shrek - er, um- I mean- the panda comes, and somebody gives him the plastic sword that breaks off into a daggar and makes cool sound effect noises. He beats up the Lynx and knocks him off the bridge. The animals apologize for doubting him, and they all live happily ever after. Also, he falls in love with one of them... probably the tiger.

Now, did I just save you two hours of your life, or what?