Meatball Sub.

Kids know not to actually do these things, right? Well, if anyone does stick their finger in a socket or eat a cell phone, don't tell your parents you got the idea from me. Tell them somebody else told you to do it. Tell them it was... Let's say "Carlos Mencia."

The Bear Took My Other Arm!!!

They're supposed to be giving out the Pokemon Darkrai at Toys 'R Us on the 31st. I tried to go there when they were giving out Manaphy. The guy there said, "No. We won't give you that Pokemon. We don't like you. Your shoes have holes in them, and you smell like a pumpkin that got hit by a sledgehammer on Tuesday." I exaggerate. To be fair, they did give me a lovely bookmark featuring the Pokemon that I can never possess.

I Wish I Had a Milkshake.

That guy at the restaraunt didn't turn out so well... I don't know what I was thinking with those ears. I'm reasonably pleased with the Zeitgeist, though.

I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!!!!

Did anybody get the joke with the shield?