I'm Still Confused.

I can't find my fire extinguisher!

It's Parser Santa!

Here we have the Top Hat Man. He's undoubtably out selling Top Hat Linux. He generally marches back and forth, throwing top hats wildly, and if one of the top hats hits you, you turn into a top hat with legs. You have to go to the hospital for them to turn you back. It's very annoying. Also, there's the

giant spider. Hey, three feet wide is still considered a giant spider. Have YOU ever seen a spider that big?

QUIT STALLING! WHERE IS THE MICROFILM?

This could be an April Fool's Day joke. I can't tell anymore.